


Journey To The Land of Bonus Content

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Foursome - F/F/M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:42:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thrilling hidden content from "Journey to the Land Where Formal Etiquette is Useless", now with less "hidden".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Journey to the Land Where Formal Etiquette is Useless](https://archiveofourown.org/works/493965) by [DoctorV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV), [dogtier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier), [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account), [pumpkinbortuqal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinbortuqal/pseuds/pumpkinbortuqal). 



  
**[Previously....](http://archiveofourown.org/works/493965/chapters/1184995) **

I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon  
Let's get it on

-Lewis Carroll 

“Wonderland?” Dirk asked. “Really, Jake?”

“Um,” Jake said. “Well.”

“You didn’t even let me wear the Alice dress,” Roxy said, pouting. “So unfair.”

“At least you weren’t _evil_ ,” Jane said. Her arms were folded over her chest and she looked very grumpy.

“Jane,” Jake said. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Humph,” Jane said.

“Don’t be like that, Janey,” Roxy said. “I bet you were a simply gorgeous wicked queen.”

“Yeah, you could oppress me any day, Crocker,” Dirk agreed.

“Violate my rights,” Roxy said. “Please, Jane. They’re right there, being all unviolated.”

“It’s a shame leaving them like that,” Dirk said. “Look how they’re just flaunting their freedom around, they’re just asking for it.”

“Oh stop it, you two,” Jane said, but she was smiling. “Sorry, Jake.”

“No, I deserve it,” Jake said. “Sorry I made you all worry so much.”

“You stop it too,” Roxy said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. He yelped. “No moping. From any of you. We’re all together again and Jake is on the mend. This is the time to be _happy_ so there.”

“So there?” Dirk asked.

“That’s what I said,” Roxy said firmly.

“Since you’re in the forceful mood,” Dirk said. “Why don’t you get Mr. Stitches here back to bed? He’s supposed to be resting.”

“I can rest on the couch,” Jake protested.

“Not while watching River Monsters,” Dirk said. “Off to bed.”

“I have to agree with Dirk,” Jane said.

“But-,” Jake began. 

“We have a DVR for a reason,” Jane said. “Come on Roxy.”

Roxy gently picked up Jake, having no trouble carrying him to the bedroom despite his squirming.

“You’re all bullies,” Jake whined as Dirk pulled back the covers and Roxy tucked him into bed. 

“And yet you love us,” Dirk said.

“Well, yes. I suppose I do,” Jake said.

“You suppose?” Dirk asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Maybe a bit,” Jake said. “A smidge or so, when you’re not ganging up on me.”

“We love you too,” Jane said.

“Of course you love me,” Jake said. “I have many admirable qualities.”

“Do you now?” Jane asked. “And what would those be?”

“Oh, you know,” Jake said. He counted on the fingers of his broken arm with his good one as he listed. “My bravery. My rugged nature. My general handsomeness.”

“Your encyclopedic knowledge of Spider-Girl continuity,” Roxy cut in.

“Shush,” Jake said. “My well rounded knowledge base.”

“Your ability to sit through the worst movies imaginable without flinching,” Dirk said.

“My fine taste in cinema,” Jake clarified.

“Your adorable attempt to grow facial hair for me,” Jane said.

“What do you mean attempt?” Jake asked. He rubbed his upper lip. “Is there something wrong with my mustache?”

“No, of course not,” Jane said. She patted his knee and smiled weakly.

“Great, now he’s going to sulk again,” Roxy said. “And we’re never going to get to the kissing.”

“Well, if there’s kissing I might be persuaded to skip the sulk,” Jake said.

“Oh really?” Jane said.

“Yes, but it’s a limited time offer,” Jake said. “You better hurry if you’re interested.”

“Quick Jane,” Roxy said. “We don’t want to miss out on this golden opportunity.”

Jane giggled as she climbed onto the bed, carefully leaning over to kiss Jake.

“Is that all you’ve got in you, Jane?” Dirk asked.

“The doctor said we should handle him with care,” Jane said. “Like a delicate flower.”

“Jaaaane,” Jake whined. She giggled again and kissed him on the nose.

“Move over,” Roxy said, elbowing Jane. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

“Be my guest,” Jane said, sitting aside and watching Roxy press her lips to Jake’s.

Roxy propped herself up with one arm and held Jake’s good arm down with the other to stop him from wriggling about and injuring himself. Unfortunately it was an awkward position and after a minute or so she slipped, making Jake shout as she landed on his shoulder.

“Sorry!” she said, rolling off immediately. “Okay, maybe no kissing.”

“Fine, then you better prepare yourself for some grade A sulking,” Jake said.

“You’re such a brat,” Dirk said. 

He pulled down the covers, laughing when Jake tried to help and ended up with the sheet tangling around his ankle brace. Roxy curled up against Jake’s side, carefully resting her hand on an uninjured part of his stomach as she watched. Dirk smiled up at them before tugging the waist of Jake’s sweats down slightly and kissing his skin.

“Oh,” Jake said.

And then Dirk blew a raspberry on right below Jake’s navel.

“Eep!” Jake squeaked, trying to curl away and then yelping as he knocked his elbow against the mattress.

“How do you even function being that clumsy?” Dirk asked, rubbing an idle circle with his fingertip on Jake’s wet skin.

“Hey, you’re the one playing dirty,” Jake said.

“Hold still,” Dirk said, placing his hands on Jake’s hip bones and pressing them into the mattress. “If you pop your stitches again there’s going to be no sex for a month.”

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that,” Roxy cut in. “Jane, back me up here.”

“Shush,” Jane said. “I’m trying to watch.”

Dirk released Jake’s hips just long enough to yank his sweats down. Jake winced slightly and Dirk gave Jake a look before lowering his head and kissing the side of Jake’s cock.

“Ugh, wait a minute,” Dirk said, sniffing and pulling away to get off the bed.

“What? Wait, come back,” Jake said. “Come on, I’m sorry what did I do?”

“Be right back,” Dirk said as he exited.

Jake squirmed as Roxy and Jane giggled.

“I fail to see the humor here,” Jake said.

He was interrupted by a wet washcloth hitting his face.

“Just had to grab that,” Dirk said.

“I’m insulted,” Jake said.

“Dirk’s just a germaphobe,” Roxy said.

“Look, just because some people around here don’t believe in showering more than once a week,” Dirk said, taking the cloth and rubbing Jake’s junk quickly and efficiently. “Doesn’t mean we have all decided to neglect basic hygiene.”

“Fuck, that’s cold!” Jake yelped.

“Baby,” Dirk said.

“This is the worst floorshow I’ve ever seen,” Roxy said.

“I have to agree,” added Jane.

“I feel so objectified,” Dirk said, tossing the cloth aside. “I’m not just a piece of meat.”

“Shut up and suck,” Jane said.

“Yes, my Queen,” Dirk said, lying between Jake’s legs once again. His strong hands held Jake in place as he opened his mouth and obeyed.

“Dirk,” Jake moaned, his good fingers clenching in the sheets.

“Short trigger there,” Roxy teased.

Jane scooted down the bed, sitting next to Dirk. After a minute she reached over and rubbed his back between his shoulder blades, slowly working her way up his neck and finally carding her fingers through his hair. As Dirk took Jake further into his mouth Jane gripped Dirk’s hair a little more tightly, guiding him to speed up his pace.

Jake’s head fell back against the pillow and he tried to concentrate on breathing. It was hard, panting made his chest hurt but he knew admitting it would make them stop and god, they were not allowed to stop.

“You okay there?” Jane asked. Jake nodded as well as he could manage.

“We can tell you’re lying,” Roxy said, tickling his neck with her fingers. “You’re totally going to go off in like, thirty seconds. No way you’re not.”

Jake tried to protest but it came out as a strangled moan, making Roxy snort.

“You’re all awful,” Jane said while pressing down harder on Dirk’s head. “Except Dirk, he’s a good boy. I want you to swallow.”

Dirk’s fingers dug into Jake’s skin, keeping his hips from jerking as he came. When Jane finally let Dirk pull back he was panting a little. Dirk sat back and went to wipe his face with the back of his hand.

“No, let me,” Jane said, picking up the washcloth and wiping up the mess. “There, better.”

“Thanks Jane,” Dirk said. Jane kissed his cheek.

“Ugh stop being cute,” Roxy said. “I’m horny and expecting some help.”

“Not here,” Jane said.

“Hey,” Jake said. “Why don’t I get a show too?”

“Because it’s time for you to take a pain pill and pass out,” Dirk said. “Remember what happened last time you skipped one?”

“You never let me have any fun,” Jake said.

“I didn’t know that you rolling around begging for death because it hurts so much qualified as fun,” Dirk said.

“It certainly wasn’t fun for the rest of us,” Jane said. Roxy nodded.

“Could you at least stay until I fall asleep?” Jake asked.

“Of course,” Jane said. She patted Jake’s shoulder and he winced. “Sorry.”

“Delicate flower,” Roxy said.

“Shush,” Jane told her. “Your bottle is in the bathroom right?”

“Right next to the sink,” Jake answered.

“Dirk, go get it,” Jane said, waving him away with a dismissive hand.

“You’re cute when you’re bossy,” Jake said.

“You shush too,” Jane said, putting her finger over his lips. He grinned up at her and she smiled back.

“Jaaaaane,” Roxy called. “Come cuddle with me.”

“In a minute,” Jane answered.

“Back,” Dirk said. He handed over the pill bottle and water glasses. “Are you really going to feed it to him?”

“Some of us take nursing seriously,” Jane said. She tapped Jake’s jaw. “Open up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jake said, sticking out his tongue for the pill and swallowing obediently when she said so.

“There,” she said, setting the glass aside. “Now you can have your cuddles.”

“Yay, Jane cuddles,” Roxy said, opening her arms and dragging Jane down as soon as she got close.

“Come here, Dirk,” Jane said. “No escaping tonight.”

“I miss cuddles,” Jake said.

“I miss the five years you took off my life when I watched you fall,” Jane said.

“Sorry,” Jake said, breaking into a yawn on the second R.

“It’s alright,” Jane said. “You’re worth more than them.”

“You two are suuuuch saps,” Roxy said.

Jake giggled a little. Things were getting nice and drifty.

“I can’t keep my eyes open,” he murmured. “Are you kissing? It sounds like kissing.”

“Go to sleep!” Jane said. “Oh my lord.”

Roxy’s laughter faded out as darkness faded in and it was nice to go out feeling all warmed and loved.


	2. Chapter 2

  
**[Previously...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/493965/chapters/1184960) **

I want to undress you  
Wanna caress you  
Don`t wanna be coy  
It's time to get me off

-Lewis Carroll 

Jake thought it was almost cheating to send Lil’ Seb and the other robots out to do the surveying of the planets. Wasn’t the point of the game to have grand adventures and climb their echeladders? Sure, a few rounds of friendly fisticuffs might net them a couple measly boondollars but it just wasn’t the same.

“Intel,” Dirk told him. “They’re gathering intel. There’s a lot of forces at work here, this isn’t a simple game anymore.”

“We’ll go soon,” was Jane’s response. “Dirk’s right, we need more information before doing something else stupid.”

“They’re scared,” Roxy said, when she and Jake were alone. “You don’t remember dying but we do. It’s... just give them a little time, okay?”

So they built themselves a cosy little home in a cave on Jane’s planet. And they slept.

Sleeping was... odd. Not peaceful like it once was. Jake didn’t see the trolls again but he saw other things. They were sometimes pleasant, usually not, and even when they were nice they were never restful.

“Queen Jane, huh?” Dirk asked, dealing another hand of cards as he and Jake sat on the floor.

“You were there,” Jake said.

“It’s just interesting,” Dirk said. “That you’d cast her like that.”

“How do you know I did the casting?” Jake asked.

“The love potion too,” Dirk said. “I wonder where that came from.”

“Probably from you,” Jake huffed.

“Maybe,” Dirk said. “I can see it being me.”

“What?” Jake asked.

“Love potions are an act of desperation,” Dirk said. “The act of someone lonely and distrustful.”

“Distrustful?” Jake asked. “I can see lonely, but why that?”

“People leave you,” Dirk said. “The only way you can believe they won’t is if you take away their ability to.”

Jake was quiet.

“Is there room for another person?” Jane asked from her cot.

“Sure,” Dirk said.

She climbed down and between him and Jake. She didn’t look up at either of their faces.

“I wonder what Roxy’s doing now,” Jake said, looking over at where she still slept.

“She led a coup d'etat against me,” Jane said.

Dirk snickered.

“Don’t,” Jane said. “Have you ever seen how grisly it is when a rook is guillotined?”

Dirk looked at her and she met his gaze definitely. The moment stretched tensely until they finally broke into laughter.

“I don’t understand,” Jake said.

“We’ll teach you chess sometime,” Dirk said.

“Why is there a party without me?” Roxy asked, voice rough from sleep.

“Did you get dethroned as well?” Jane asked.

“Impeached,” Roxy said. She cleared her throat and then said primly, “I founded democracy.”

“How noble,” Jane replied.

“What should we play?” Dirk asked, shuffling the cards.

“Ugh, please no,” Roxy said, pulling her pillow over her head. “No more red and black.”

“Well what do _you_ want to do then?” Jane asked, folding her arms.

“Aw, disappointed you can’t order us around, aren’t you?” Roxy teased.

“I could order you around,” Jane said. “I should. I’m the leader.”

“Oh, now you’re the leader? Roxy said. “The leader of us sitting on our-”

“Hey! You agreed to this plan too-”

“I think,” Jake interjected. “That we’re all just a bit cranky because we haven’t been resting well. Let’s not-”

“Stop it,” Jane said. “Stop being all reasonable and sweet and irresistible. It makes me want to pull my hair out.”

“Jane-” Jake said.

“Nope, no, don’t say my name like that either. Actually, just sit there and be quiet,” Jane said.

“Um-” Jake began.

“Quiet!” Jane snapped. He obeyed and there was several minutes of silence. “It’s not helping, he’s still hot.”

“Just kiss him already,” Roxy said. “Please. The tension is killing us here.”

“Fine,” Jane said, yanking Jake over and messily pushing their mouths together.

“That was terrible,” Dirk said.

“Oh, I’d like to see you try to do better,” Jane said.

“Hand him over,” Dirk said.

“Wha-” began Jake.

“Nope, still quiet time for you,” Jane said. She pushed Jake over to Dirk.

Dirk cupped Jake’s face in his hands and leaned in. Closer, closer, teasing Jake with his warm breath.

“Just do it already!” Jane snapped.

It was startling, still, how fast Dirk could move. Their teeth clacked together but he was not deterred in the least. Jake found himself being pushed back with the force of it.

“No fair,” Roxy said, climbing down off the bed. “Stop being boy hogs.”

Dirk pulled back from his kiss and manhandled Jake into Roxy’s arms.

“Hey there handsome,” Roxy said. She smiled and stuck her tongue into Jake’s mouth when he opened it to respond. She clambered into his lap as they kiss and he toppled over, banging his head against the floor of the cave.

“Am I allowed to speak,” he said. “Long enough to ask for a bit of gentler handling?”

“Yeah,” Jane said. “Sure. Throw him on the bed.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Jake protested as he was heaved up and over and on top of.

Dirk climbed up on the cot next to him, leaning over and pulling him into another kiss. Roxy’s hands decided to go wandering, pushing up Jake’s shirt. When she tweaked a nipple he squeaked.

“Not that this isn’t enjoyable,” Jake said. “But I simply feel we’re skipping a few steps.”

“A week of handholding,” Jane said, sticking her accusatory finger straight at his face. “Handholding, Jake! It would make any woman snap.”

“Erm, I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it,” Jake said.

“Well I do,” Jane said. “Roxy, take his pants off.”

“Aren’t you bossy,” Roxy said.

“Leader!” Jane said.

“Of course,” Roxy said. She pushed Jake back down on the cot when he tried to protest and went for his fly.

“Um, shouldn’t someone else be, oh watch it!” Jake said. He looked down at Roxy and then gave in. “Oh whatever, just go for it I suppose.”

“Finally,” Jane said.

“Well hello there,” Roxy said once she had Jake’s shorts speedily disposed of. “Dang.”

“Nice, English,” Dirk said. “Very nice.”

“Nope, no hiding,” Roxy said when Jake tried to cover his exposed genitals with his hands.

“Well I think it’s rather unfair I have to be on display while the rest of you stay all bundled up,” he said.

“It’s a good point,” Dirk said. “What say you, noble leader?”

“Yes, yes, whatever,” Jane said, not taking her eyes off Jake’s cock.

“Oh dear,” he said when she licked her lips.

“Janey,” Roxy sing songed. “Hey over here.”

Roxy had removed her top and was bouncing her boobs in her hands.

“Lookie Jane!” Roxy said. “They’re so friendly. They want friends to play with. Don’t make their friends stay at home not having any fun.”

Jane sighed and pulled her shirt over her head.

“You could have just asked,” Jane said. Roxy laughed.

“Lookin’ good,” Dirk said, giving Jane a thumbs up. “Are you seriously just going to lie there with your pants around your knees?”

“What? Oh!” Jake said. He scrambled up and hastily began stripping off the rest of his clothes.

“Well,” Roxy said, standing proudly and surveying the room in the ensuing odd silence of everyone checking everyone else out. “We are one good looking bunch. Excellent work everyone.”

“Thanks?” Jake said. “What do we do now-”

“I think Jane gets first dibs,” Roxy said.

“Dibs?” Jake asked. “You guys actually-”

“Just get her off before she kills us all from sexual frustration, okay Jake?” Dirk said. He patted Jake’s shoulder. “There’s a good boy.”

“Here,” Jane said. She tossed Jake a wrapped condom. He caught the small package and held it awkwardly.

“How do I, um,” he finally said.

“Wait, you don’t know how to put one on?” Dirk asked.

“Well if you’re so smart then you do it,” Jake said, throwing it at Dirk.

“Okay,” Dirk said. He considered a moment.

“ _Really_?” Jane asked.

“They don’t show that part in porn,” Dirk admitted.

“Ha!” Jake said.

“Give it here,” Jane said. “Have to do everything myself. Ridiculous.”

“I admire your preparedness, Miss Crocker,” Dirk said.

“Pay attention,” she said. “You too Jake.”

She ripped the packet open with her teeth and pulled the condom free.

“Alright, Jake you sit there,” she said. “All you’ve got to do is sort of... roll it. On. Oh.”

“Jane?” Jake asked. He looked down at where she was staring at his cock once again. It was enough to make a man worry.

“Sorry, distracted for a second,” Jane said.

“Is there something unusual-” Jake said.

“You’re _hung_ , Jake,” Roxy said. Dirk elbowed her. “What? It’s true!”

“You’ll give him an ego,” Dirk said.

“What?” Roxy asked. “And make him _cocky_?”

“Alright, I walked into that one,” Dirk said.

“Shush,” Jane said. “You just have to roll it on.”

She scrunched up her face and reached out. Jake held his breath as she hesitated.

“You know you are going to have to touch it, right?” Roxy asked. “Like, hand on cock action?”

“Unless you’re going to do it with your mouth,” Dirk said.

“Ugh,” she said, and grabbed Jake.

He squeaked.

“Right,” Jane said. “You just sort of- like I said. Roll it on.”

“Jane, I’m pretty sure that is not even close,” Roxy said as Jane mutilated the latex and Jake looked stuck between pain and shock.

“This isn’t like the banana!” Jane snapped. She tossed the condom aside. “Give me a new one. From the box right there.”

Dirk passed her a fresh one.

“Okay,” Jane said. “This time we’ll just-”

“Do you want _me_ to hold my dick for you?” Jake asked. “Not to be critical or anything, you’re doing fine really, it’s just I think I should be helpful and-”

“Stop panicking,” Dirk said. “You’ll go soft.”

“Haha yeah, breathe,” Jake said. He took a shaky breath that sounded almost like a gasp.

“Jakey,” Roxy said. She scooted up beside him and rubbed his shoulder. “Aw, Jakey it’s alright. Do you want to stop?”

“No,” Jake said. “I’m fine. It’s just a bit overwhelming.”

“Ready to try again?” Jane asked, much softer and gentler than how she had been talking before.

“Sure, Jane,” Jake said. “Let’s get this whole affair off to the races. You know, as they say.”

“No one says that,” Dirk said.

“I want to touch,” Roxy asked, walking her fingers down Jake’s stomach. “Can I, Jane?”

“Yes, sure,” Jane said. “I didn’t mean to be-”

“It’s okay,” Roxy said, wrapping her fingers around Jake. “We know you missed sharing day in preschool.”

“I did not,” Jane said.

Roxy snorted and turned her attention back to Jake.

“Huh,” she said. “Different from what I expected. Man, I’ve been getting my fic wrong all this time.”

“Roxy,” Jake begged. “Please, no wizards.”

“How about Na’vi?” Roxy asked.

“Well-”

“Na’vi in wizard hats?”

“Nope, none of that silliness,” Jane said. “Is he almost ready?”

“I don’t know,” Roxy said. “We don’t have bananas in the future.”

Jane shoved the giggling girl aside.

“Alright, we’re going to do this again,” Jane told Jake. “For keeps this time. I’m serious about it.”

It still took two more condoms before Jane was satisfied with the situation at hand. By that point Jake was squirming and panting, his fingers clenched tight in the sheets.

“Excellent,” Jane said. “Now for the fun part.”

Jake began to rise but Jane shoved him back down.

“Nope, you stay there,” she said. With Roxy’s help she climbed up to straddle his hips. She wasn’t naturally graceful and Jake’s lack of coordination didn’t help. Eventually they gave Roxy the task of guiding Jane’s hips until she was in the right position.

“Good to go,” Roxy said with a thumbs up. Jane rolled her eyes.  
.  
Jake held his cock still while Jane lowered herself. She slipped the first few times, not able to get the angle right but finally she made it happen. She pushed down, taking the first inch or so inside and froze.

“Jane?” Jake asked. She shushed him, patting his mouth with her hand. She took several breaths before starting again, going agonizingly slow as Jake struggled to keep his hips still. She moved her hands, bracing herself on his shoulders as the last bit slipped inside.

“Oh,” Jane said, eyes closed as she learned the sensation. She shifted her hips, lifting slightly and then sinking back down. Jake gritted his teeth.

“How you doing there, Janey?” Roxy asked, leaning in to kiss Jane’s neck and brush her hair back from her sweaty face.

“Great,” Jane said breathlessly,

“Didn’t think this all the way through, did you?” Roxy asked.

“I’m _great_ ,” Jane repeated.

“Well that’s good,” Roxy said. “Because I’m pretty sure if you don’t start moving soon Jake’s going to have a conniption.”

“What?” Jane said. She opened her eyes and looked down.

“Hi,” Jake said weakly.

“Oh,” Jane said. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Jake said again for lack of high brain functions.

“Sorry,” Jane said. She planted her hands again and very carefully rolled her hips.

“Oh god,” Jake groaned, unable to keep from jerking up into her motion. Jane yelped in surprise. “Sorry! Sorry!”

“No,” Jane said. “No, no, do that again.”

“What?” Jake asked.

“Do that again!” Jane snapped. Jake obeyed and she groaned out a strangled yes.

“Oh wow,” Roxy said, shifting on the bed next to them as she watched. “Oh wow. Dirk are you watching?”

“Yes,” Dirk said. His voice was very tight and tense.

“Dirk,” Roxy said.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Want a hand over there?”

“Sounds good.”

Roxy knocked over her cot with a bang while she scrambled over to kiss Dirk. Jake tried to turn to see what they were doing but Jane grabbed his hair and forced him back to looking at her.

“Really?” Jane asked. “My tits in your face and you don’t even _do_ anything?”

“I was trying to be a gentleman,” Jake said.

“Well fucking stop it,” Jane said.

“Jane Crocker,” Jake said, reaching out and gently cupping her breasts. “You have a filthy mouth.”

“At least pinch my nipples, Jesus,” was her response.

Jake wasn’t quite sure the best way to execute her request. Her breasts were quite large, more than a handful. He was fumbling it so badly that Jane actually sat back so she could use her own hands to direct him.

“Like this, you- oh,” she said, stopping her movements suddenly. She wriggled her hips, taking in the change of angle. “Oh my god.”

“Jane?” Jake asked just before she started bouncing and his brain fizzled out. He gave up on her breasts to grab her by her wide hips and thrust up, making her squeal and shout encouraging nonsense.

“Come on come on Jake,” Jane chanted. And he did. Well, come. A bit sooner than he would have liked too but really what was he supposed to do?

“Gadzooks,” he gasped. Jane froze.

“Did you just-” Jane began.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“And you said gadzooks.”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god,” Jane said. She looked up towards the ceiling of the cave and muttered something about the world please ending.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said, only it came out sounding much more pathetic than he had planned.

“Ugh,” Jane said, sliding off him and rolling to her side. She hit the cot in frustration. “Ugh ugh ugh.”

“Sorry,” Jake said again, starting to sit up and reach out to her. “Is there some way-”

“Yes,” Jane said, suddenly getting an idea. “Yes, just- just shut up.”

She clambered back over to his cot, forcing his shoulders back down to the sheets as she moved to straddle his face.

“Whoo!” Roxy said. “Get ‘em girl.”

“Well?” Jane asked, tugging Jake’s hair again. “Let’s move this along here.”

Jake, for his part, was terribly lost. Just when he thought he had a grasp on the situation things went all topsy turvy. But an adventurer never let a bit of surprise throw him off! He tried to remember the better part of Roxy’s stories and stuck out his tongue and stroked Jane in what he hoped was the right manner.

“No,” she said, wriggling against his tongue. “Higher.”

He obeyed, but it was hard when he couldn’t see what he was doing. The taste was strange as well, not unpleasant though. She tugged his hair, tilting his head until he finally seemed to get it right. Or so he assumed from the way she gasped and grinded down.

“Right there!” she said.

“Jane,” Roxy said. “Let me help.”

There was another weight on Jake, across his chest, and Jane shifted to lean forward. She lifted up slightly and then Roxy’s (or so he assumed they were Roxy’s) long fingers slipped into the narrow space between Jake and Jane. His tongue got all tangled in them until they shifted down and up into Jane, giving Jake room to work again.

“Yes,” Jane said, letting go of Jake’s hair to brace herself. “Oh yes.”

Jake reached up and rubbed her thighs, feeling them shake. He hoped she was going to finish soon, his face was getting numb. She growled suddenly, bucking against him and clamping her thighs down around his head. Then she collapsed back against Roxy and they both fell to the side. And then there was a bang.

He assumed that meant she was done. It was hard to tell with girls.

“Um,” he said.

“Shh,” Dirk said. “Don’t say whatever stupid thing you were about to say.”

“I wasn’t going to- oh whatever.” Jake wiped his mouth and chin off with the back of his arm before turning on his side to look and make sure the girls were okay after their tumble.

“Ouch,” Roxy said.

“Did the cot collapse?” Jane asked.

“Kinda,” Roxy said. And indeed, Jake was lying on the last one standing, the others knocked over through various means. Even has was wobbling a bit.

“This is the worst,” Jane said.

Jake sat up gingerly. The world was spinning a bit, perhaps from oxygen deprivation. He felt quite sweaty and knew he had to do something with the condom. He tried to do his best getting it off without a mess but failed miserably. He held the latex mess delicately and tried to determine what best to do with it. Just throw it in the pile with the rest of their trash? Was that hygienic?

“Here, I’ll deal with it,” Dirk said, snapping his fingers.

“Uh-” Jake said.

“Don’t be so nervous. What do you think I’m going to do, use it to clone you?” Dirk asked.

“Could you actually do that?” Jake asked.

“No,” Dirk said bluntly. “That’s more Roxy’s thing.”

“True,” Roxy agreed, still sprawled on the floor with Jane half on top of her. “Dirk would just make a robot you. If he hasn’t already.”

“I haven’t figured out how to program the nuances of the way he wriggles his ass yet,” Dirk said. “It’s a difficult scientific problem, I’m sure it will be overcome in time.”

“I do not wriggle my ass,” Jake said.

“Yes you do,” Jane said. 

“You’re all awful,” Jake said, throwing himself back on the cot. Which shook with the force of impact and collapsed upon itself.

“Um, Jake?” Roxy asked. “You okay?”

“Who alchemitized these anyway?” he asked. “This is ridiculous.”

“Dirk get down here,” Jane said.

“What?” he asked.

“Down. Here.” Jane repeated. “You don’t get to be the last man standing.”

“You want me to get down with you in your pile of broken cots and bodily fluids?” Dirk asked. “That is what you’re saying right here.”

“Leader,” Jane said.

“I better at least get an orgasm out of this,” Dirk said.

“Jake, hop to it,” Jane said.

“Aw, how about me?” Roxy asked.

“You should have called dibs when you have a chance,” Dirk said.

“This is not sporting,” Jake said. “Not sporting at all.”

“Maybe we can share him? Both at once?” Roxy suggested. “That’s more fair.”

“I’m here you know,” Jake said. “Right here.”

“Leader Jane, settle this for us,” Roxy said.

“Right! Here!”

“I will flip a coin,” Jane said. She paused. “Does anyone have a coin?”

“I have a headache,” Jake said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for consent issues involving mind control in this chapter.

  
**[Previously...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/493965/chapters/1184992) **

That night a wild party  
Women beat their men  
Animals watch beyond the fire  
The dominatrix sleeps tonight

-Lewis Carroll 

Jane was having a bad day. An ambassador from Looking Glass Land had wasted hours and hours of her time on some nonsense about a snark coming to eat them all. He claimed it was “already here” or some such nonsense. She was hard pressed to resist the urge to just have his head lopped off. But she had sworn she was going to be a better queen than the last. A kinder queen, gentler in her practices.

She rubbed her forehead as she headed to the private rooms of the castle, waving the constant swarm of squabbling courtiers away. All she wanted as a bath and a lie down. She breathed in deeply as soon as she shut the heavy doors to the royal wing behind her. It was so quiet.

Until, of course, there was a horrendous crash.

“I hope that wasn’t important,” Jake said, standing over a shattered vase.

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” Roxy said.

Jane sighed and slumped back against the ornately carved oak.

“What,” she said loudly but calmly. “Are you two doing?”

“We were chasing Dirk,” Roxy said. “He’s gone all weird again.”

Jane groaned. This was even worse than ambassadors.

“Fine,” Jane said. “Roxy, come with me. Jake sweep that up and then go run my bath.”

“But Jane-” Jake began.

“But nothing. I want it steaming hot when I get back. Now I’m off to find my boy.”

“He was headed towards the old library,” Roxy said.

“Fine, we will start there,” Jane said. “Go on Jake, the water isn’t warming itself.”

The library had belonged to the queen before the queen before Jane. Jane’s immediate predecessor hadn’t really been one for reading. She found it frivolous. Jane was fond of books, but not the library. It was gaudy, with gilded spirally hearts on every surface. Such an eyesore.

“Dirk!” Jane called into the room. “I’m going to count very nicely to twenty and expect you to show yourself by the time I’m through.”

There was only silence in answer. She cleared her throat and began.

“One,” she said primly. “Two. Three.”

She got to ten and there was no sign of movement. Her voice got a bit more irritated with each numeral.

“Sixteen,” she said. “Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.”

There was the briefest flicker of shadow on the far side of the room.

“Twenty,” she said. “Well then.”

She nodded at Roxy.

Dirk was fast but Roxy was determined. Jane sat in one of the stuff golden chairs with her hands folded in her lap while she watched the brutal takedown.

“Fuck you,” Dirk snarled when Roxy hauled him over to lay at Jane’s feet.

“Language,” Jane said. “Let’s go back to our rooms. This place is offensive.”

Dirk continued to curse and thrash the whole way back, his voice echoing through the wide corridors of Jane’s private wing. He quieted down slightly as they approached Jane’s suite. He knew what was coming up.

“Jake!” Jane called as she pushed open her doors.

“Yes?” he answered, emerging from the bath.

“Is my bath ready?” Jane asked.

“Of course!” he said.

“Good. Now be a sweetie and help Roxy tie Dirk up, would you?”

“Of course!”

Jake wasn’t the best at wrestling despite his wild claims, that duty had to fall to Roxy. He was, however, a master at knots.

“There we go!” he said cheerfully.

“Good work,” Jane said. “Now bring him over here.”

Roxy picked Dirk up easily under his bound shoulders, bringing him to kneel in front of Jane.

“Dirk,” Jane said. “I’m very angry with you right now.”

“I can see that,” Dirk replied.

“That’s good. I’m glad that you’re so observant,” Jane said. “Can you predict what’s going to happen next?”

“You’re going to give me a good beating,” Dirk said.

“No,” Jane said. “I have had a terrible day and I’m not wasting my time with that. Jake and Roxy will take care of the dirty work while I have my bath. When I come out you had better have gotten over whatever little fit you’re having.”

Roxy clapped her hands in excitement and Jake said something inane in thanks but Jane ignored them, heading for the bath instead. She sighed as she inhaled steam. That boy was so good at following orders. She peeled her way out of her dress and slipped into the claw foot tub. It was her favorite, just the right size for her. There had used to be a larger tub but she had it moved to another room. It was sometimes fun but one could hardly get any real relaxation done while Roxy and Jake wrestled in the bubbles three feet away.

Jane stretched out, wriggling her toes and sighing. It was perfect. She whistled as she washed herself, scrubbing away all the day’s worries.

When she finally emerged, wrapped in a silk robe with her hair up in a fluffy towel she was happy to see that the others had followed her commands. Dirk was bent over Roxy’s knees on the bed. She was forcing his shoulders down while Jake smacked Dirk’s red ass over and over again with a hairbrush. Jane tilted her head to the side.

“Is that _my_ silver hairbrush?” she asked.

The other three froze, Jake’s arm in the air. Jane walked over and plucked the hairbrush from his fingers.

“Let’s see,” she said. She dug through the trunk at the end of the bed and selected a nice paddle. Small, wooden, with a good heft. Something to put Dirk in his place without be cruel. Jake kept his hand raised the whole time and she slipped the paddle into it. “You may resume.”

With the first smack Dirk gasped. He struggled and Roxy held him tighter. Jake kept up a good rhythm, just like Jane had taught him. So good at following orders, that boy. So very good.

“Keep it up,” Jane said. “I want to see tears.”

“Jane,” Dirk said.

“It’s Your Majesty,” Jane corrected. “When you’ve been naughty.”

“Your Majes-ah!” Dirk broke with a particularly well aimed smack to his already overworked bottom. “Oh fuck.”

“Language,” Jane said.

Dirk turned and bit the covers, working the fabric between his teeth as his eyes began to water.

“Just give in,” Jane told him, sitting on the bed and cupping his cheek in her hand. Her thumb rubbed the dark circle under his eye. He hadn’t been sleeping. Jane silently cursed herself for not seeing the warning signs. “Come on, Dirk. Just break.”

He shook his head fiercely. She gripped him by the hair and yanked, holding his head back so he couldn’t muffle his noises anymore.

“Break,” she ordered.

“No,” he said.

“Break,” she repeated.

“No,” he gasped.

“Break.”

He could only whimper.

She stroked his face and the tears began to fall.

“There, there,” she said. “Ease up, would you Jake?”

Jake halted his motions.

“I said ease up, not stop.”

Another smack and Dirk let out a broken _sob_.

“There,” Jane said, swiping her thumb through his tears and then pressing it to his lips. “Just like that. Isn’t it good? To let go?”

He opened his mouth and sucked her thumb obediently.

“I think you can stop now, Jake,” Jane said. “Roxy, you can let him sit up as well. I think he’s ready to behave.”

He whimpered a bit while Roxy helped him sit up. As soon as his ass touched bed he flinched, rising up to his knees and struggling to keep his balance with his arms still bound behind his back.

“Are you ready?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” Dirk answered.

Jane smiled before walking over to her wardrobe. Only she could open it and she could feel the other three watching with rapt attention. She swung open the gilded doors and revealed the red tiara sitting on its velvet pillow.

“Oh,” Jake whispered. “It’s so beautiful.”

“I know,” Jane said, picking it up and turning. “But it’s Dirk’s turn tonight.”

Dirk held perfectly still as Jane slipped the tiara down over his pale gold hair until it rested snugly on his forehead. He breathed deep and then Jane turned it on.

He nearly screamed, body jerking in immediate reaction. Roxy caught him, restraining him from thrashing and hurting himself. He whimpered and keened. Jane was sure that if his hands were free he would be clawing the bed.

“Good boy,” Jane said, running her hand down his heaving chest until she was grasping his hard cock. “Remember who you belong to.”

“Jane,” he moaned. “Jane. Jane. Jane.” 

“Open your eyes,” she commanded. “Look at me.”

He struggled to lift his head. His eyelids kept fluttering, want to squeeze shut because of the overwhelming pleasure and pain wracking through him. But no one wearing her tiara could resist Jane so he obeyed. His orange irises were tinted red and glowing softly, his pupils were dilated, the whites reddened from his sobbing. Jane thought he had never looked more beautiful.

She jerked him faster, rewarding him for his attention.

“That’s a good boy,” she said. “You can come now.”

He broke eye contact when he came, body curling in on itself as he shook his way through it. When Jane pulled her hand away he collapsed into Roxy’s arms, gasping breaths interlaced with the occasional whimper.

“Jake, go fetch me a towel,” Jane said. Then she reconsidered. “Unless you’d like to clean my hand yourself?”

“Always, Jane,” he said, crawling forward and licking her offered palm. She ruffled his hair with her clean hand while he sucked her fingers one by one.

“How is he doing?” she asked Roxy.

“His shaking has calmed down,” Roxy answered. “But I think he ruined his voice for a couple days.”

“That’s just as well,” Jane said. “Let’s see how conniving he can be while silent.”

She tenderly stroked his cheek before lifting the tiara from his head. He let out a rattling gasp before slumping. Jane walked over to the tiara’s stand, taking out a silk cloth and cleaning it before setting it back in its home and shutting it up tight.

“I believe that was a productive evening,” Jane said. “Excellent work.”

“Thank you, Jane!” Roxy and Jake chimed in unison. Jane smiled.

“Now which of you wants to go down on me first?”


	4. Chapter 4

**[Previously...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/493965/chapters/1184877) **

“Stunning,” Jane said. “I don’t know how I can handle this handsomeness.”

“Yes,” Roxy agreed. “Those levels of hunkiness are usually unseen in nature. It must be contained before it blinds the innocent.”

“Should we give him a beard at well?” Jake asked.

“No,” Roxy said. “Too mirror universe. We don’t want to encourage the plotting.”

“Alright,” Jake said. He sat back against the couch and admired his handiwork. Dirk was sprawled out on Jane’s living room carpet, snoring and drooling.

“Do you think he knows he looks like that when he’s asleep?” Jane asked.

“Probably not,” Roxy said. “Do you have a camera?”

“Of course,” Jane said.

While she went to fetch it Roxy pulled Jake into her arms.

“You’re warm,” she said. “Warmer than my neighbors. Softer too.”

“I’m sorry about them,” he said.

“It’s not your fault,” she said. “We can only concentrate on stopping her now.”

“Yes,” Jake said. He turned and kissed her cheek. He wasn’t quite sure why but it seemed like the thing to do at the moment.

“I’m back,” Jane said, shaking the camera. “Oh, did something happen?”

“No, it’s nothing,” Roxy said.

“You’re crying,” Jane said. “That’s not nothing.”

Jane set the camera on the couch and got down to place her hand on Roxy's arm. 

“Oh Janey,” Roxy sobbed. She grabbed Jane and pulled her into a desperate embrace. Jane looked surprised.

“There, there,” Jane said awkwardly. She lifted her hand and put it down softly on Roxy's back. Then she repeated. It was almost like some sort of pat.

“Sorry,” Roxy sniffled. “I’m getting you all snotty.”

“That you are,” Jane said. “There there. It’s okay.”

Roxy squeezed her tight, until Jane had to asked her let go so she could breathe.

“Oops,” Roxy said.

“How are you feeling?” Jake asked.

“A bit better,” Roxy said.

“Jolly good,” he said.

“Be better with a hug from you too,” she said.

“Of course,” Jake said. “Just get right over here and we’ll do this hugging thing- ooph!”

She took him down into the hug with a bit too much force and enthusiasm.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’ll just-”

“No, it’s fine I- oh stop!” Jake protested, as she pressed on his stomach and he burst into helpless giggles. “Oh god!”

“You’re ticklish!” Roxy said excitedly. “Oh wow this is the best I’ve never met anyone ticklish before.”

“Noooo,” Jake whined, trying but failing to dodge her fingers as she pinned him down anew. “Jane help!”

“Ugh what is going on?” Dirk asked, bleary from sleep.

“They’re having a tickle fight I believe,” Jane told him.

“Doesn’t look like English is putting up much of a fight,” Dirk said.

“Villains!” Jake shrieked between bouts of laughter.

“Roxy let up,” Jane said. “I think he’s going to cry.”

Roxy stopped, falling on top of Jake and smiling down at him instead.

“Heeeeey,” she said.

“Hey,” he replied.

“You’re cute.” She bopped him on the nose with her finger.

“Thanks.”

Jane snapped a picture of them.

“Oh we’re being voyeurs now?” Dirk asked.

“What? No!” Jane said. “They’re just being adorable.”

“Give me the camera,” Dirk said.

“Not if you’re going to use it for shady things,” Jane said.

“You love me doing shady things.”

“Yes. I suppose that’s true.” She hesitated and then gave him the camera.

“Alright kids,” Dirk said. “Are you ready for your premiere performance?”

“What the devil are you talking about?” Jake asked.

“Just go with it,” Roxy said.

“That’s right,” Dirk said. “Just let the camera love you. Tilt your head back, show off your neck.”

“This is silly,” Jake said.

“Don’t you want to be a movie star?” Dirk asked. “You gotta do your time on the casting couch.”

“Well, I suppose-”

“Good,” Dirk said. “Roxy, take your top off.”

“What?” Jane asked. “Hey now-”

“Live a little, Janey,” Roxy said, sitting up and pulling her shirt above her head. Jake watched with wide eyes. “Want to help?”

“Sure!” he said, reaching up and fumbling around until he found the hook of her bra.

“Oh dear,” Jane said. “I don’t know-”

Jake undid the hook and Roxy’s breasts bounced free.

“Hello!” Jake said.

“Did you just talk to my tits?” Roxy asked.

“Maybe?” Jake admitted. “They’re quite nice.”

“Well in that case they say hello back.”

“Should I leave?” Jane asked. “Maybe I should leave.”

“No way,” Roxy said. “Come on, it’ll be a fun show. Just sit back and relax.”

“Well,” Jane said.

“Jaaaaaane,” Roxy said.

“Well alright,” Jane said. “I suppose just watching is fine.”

“Excellent,” Roxy said. “I’ll let you know if I need a volunteer from the audience.”

“Pick me!” Jake said.

“Eager,” Roxy said. “It’s a good quality.”

“Give the boy a chance,” Dirk said, snapping a photo. “He has good angles.”

“Alright,” Roxy said. “Better take this seriously, it’s your big opportunity.”

“Am I going to be a star?” Jake asked.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Roxy said. “Now stay there and look appropriately awed.”

"Oh, I'm golly well awed," Jake said. Roxy leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, batting his hands down when he tried to pull her into a deeper one. 

"Stay," she said. "Good boy." 

Roxy rose to her feet, smiling as she grabbed the waistband of her skirt and pushed the elastic down. She did a little shimmy as she discarded it.

"Are we really-" Jane as breathlessly. 

"Oh Janey," Roxy said. "Don't be such a tight ass." 

Roxy went for her leggings, then rethought and flashed them all a double pistol salute. Dirk snapped a photo. 

"Are you guys swooning?" Roxy asked. "I expect more swooning."

"I'm swooning!" Jake said eagerly. 

"I don't know," Roxy said, gently walking her right foot up his leg and pressing on the bulge in his shorts. "I think this fellow is the opposite of swooning." 

"Oh god," Jake said. 

"Hey, can you do his fly with your toes?" Dirk asked. Jane elbowed him. "What was that for Crocker?"

"You're being depraved again!" Jane answered. 

"Tight," Roxy said. "Ass." 

Jane hmphed and Roxy stepped back, pushing her leggings and underwear down together and kicking them away. She did a long stretch, turning this way and that as Dirk snapped pictures. 

"Is it audience participation time yet?" Jake asked. 

"Only if you know how to follow orders," Roxy said.

"Yes, yes, I can follow orders," he said. 

"Then come here." 

Jake got up on his knees and shuffled over to Roxy. Dirk inhaled. Jake kissed Roxy's thigh as she ran fingers through his hair. 

"On the couch," Dirk said. "Sit on the couch." 

"Yes, Mr. Director," Roxy said, sitting on the very edge of the couch, body leaned back and her thighs parted as Jake slid between them. 

"May I?" Jake asked.

"So gentlemanly," Roxy said, spreading further. "Yeah, come on. Do it." 

Jake hesitantly placed his right hand on her thigh, looking up to make sure it really was alright. Dirk wasn't snapping pictures and Jane glanced over at him. He looked tense. Jake's hand slid up Roxy's thigh, fingers brushing the curls of her blond bush, and finally down to her lips. 

"Yeah," Dirk said, quietly. He suddenly seemed to shake himself and began his photo taking. "Yeah, like that."

"You okay over there Janey?" Roxy asked. "I haven't heard a peep."

"I'm just-" Jane stuttered. "I'm just- just keep going."

"Okay," Roxy said. "You heard the lady, English." 

"Right, right," Jake said. He ran his fingers up and down, caressing her without parting her labia. She sighed and reached down to tug on his hair. 

"Come on," she said. 

"Sorry," Jake said. "It's just- you're so _wet_."

"God you're such a boy," Roxy said. "Are you blushing? Oh god that's cute."

He finally opened her with his thumb, eyes wide behind his glasses as he tentatively circled her entrance. 

"Come," Roxy said, reaching down and tugging his hair. "On."

It was strange, but it seemed the loudest noise in the room was Dirk's uneasy breathing as Jake pushed a finger inside Roxy.

"Oh," she said.

"Am I doing it wrong?" Jake asked.

"No," she said. "No, it just feels different when someone else does it."

"I should _leave_ ," Jane said. She didn't move. 

"Janey," Roxy said softly. 

Jane looked up and met Roxy's eyes. Jane shuddered, then relaxed, all the fight going out of her.

"I can't see," Jane said finally. 

"Move over here," Dirk said. 

She scooted over to lean on his side while Jake began to pump his finger in and out of Roxy. His face was scrunched up on concentration. 

"Second one," Roxy said. 

Jake bit his lip and obeyed. Roxy moaned softly when he eased the next one it. 

"You really like this," Jake said, sounding a bit surprised. Roxy laughed, grabbing his hair again. He shut his eyes at the sensation.

"You really like _that_ ," Roxy said. 

“Come on Jake,” Dirk said. “Put some effort into it. She’s hardly making a sound.”

"Bossy, bossy," Roxy said. 

"Director here," Dirk said.

"I don't know," Roxy said. "I thought Jane was our leader. Jane, what do you want?"

"Kiss her," Jane said immediately. Jake began rise on his knees and Jane interrupted. "No, no, kiss her there."

"Janey- ah!" Roxy gasped. "Oh yeah, yeah kiss there, good Jakey. Very good Jakey." 

“Could you loosen up on his hair?" Dirk asked. "I can't get a good camera angle." 

"Yes," Jane agreed. "It's a bit hard to see."

"Right," Roxy said. She released Jake, resting her hands on her stomach instead.

“Better,” Dirk said. “Could you spread a little more, though?”

“How about this?” Roxy asked, hooking her arm under the knee of the leg closest to Dirk and pulling it up to her chest.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Dirk said, shifting and taking another couple quick shots. “Very good. The lighting could be better though. Hey Jane, do you have a lamp we could-”

“No," Jane said. "You go get it." 

“Take charge Janey," Roxy said. "Ah!" 

“Nice,” Dirk said. “That’s it Jake, more tongue.”

“Ah!” Roxy gasped again, rising into a squeal as Jake spread his fingers inside her and wriggled his tongue in as well.

“Wow,” Jane said, scooting closer to watch. “That’s- oh wow.”

“Janey,” Roxy moaned. “Janey come here.”

“Okay,” Jane said, tentatively moving closer and closer until she was almost touching Roxy.

“Good Jane,” Roxy said. “Give me a kiss?”

“I don’t know-”

“Please?” Roxy asked, fluttering her eyelashes. “Pretty please?”

“Alright,” Jane said. She climbed up on the couch and peeked Roxy quickly. Roxy caught her head with her free hand and pulled her in for a deeper one.

“Tilt your head, Jane,” Dirk said, camera once again flashing constantly. 

"Jake, stop looking and work," Jane said. 

"But-" Jake protested.

"That's what pictures are for," Jane said. 

"Oh, right," Jake said. He lowered his head again, licking Roxy's clit.

"Wait, no," Jane said. "Take your glasses off. No, stay still I'll do it. There we go."

“That’s pretty,” Dirk said. “Kiss her thigh.”

Jake turned his head and did so.

“So pretty,” Dirk said again. “Can he get another finger in there?”

“Yeah,” Roxy said. “I can do four usually but his are bigger than mine.”

“Still want to try?” Dirk asked.

“Oh yes,” Roxy said. “Give me a sec.”

She pulled her other leg up and away from her chest, opening up completely.

“There we go. Bring it on.”

Jake pushed his ring finger into her and pumped, spreading the three and licking the fluid that dripped out around them. Roxy moaned, fingers clenching where they held her legs.

“That’s good,” Roxy said. “Come on, fourth now.”

He did it cautiously, bunching his fingers tight when he pressed in.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Oh god yes,” she said. “That’s so good. Go deeper.”

“Move your head,” Dirk said. “I want a close up.”

Jake leaned back and Dirk fiddled with the zoom, snapping shots in quick succession as Jake worked his fingers in and out. Every time they withdrew they were a little wetter and each time in they got a little deeper until they were all the way to the third knuckle. 

“Do you think-” Dirk began.

“There is no way his thumb is going in without lube,” Roxy said. “And if you stop now to get some there will be hell to pay.”

“Alright, alright,” Dirk said. “Next time?”

“Yeah, next time,” Roxy agreed. “Now come on Jake, get that tongue back in the game.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. He pumped his fingers in and out slowly while licking her clit in quick little flicks of his tongue. She moaned.

“Janey,” she called.

“What?” Jane asked, sounding dazed.

“Can I get a hand?” Roxy asked.

“ _Another_ one?” Jane asked incredulously.

“On my tits,” Roxy clarified.

“Right, of course,” Jane said. "But I'm giving the orders, remember?"

"Thought you were distracted," Roxy said. "Had to take initiative in your absence."

"Oh, don't be clever," Jane said. She pinched Roxy's nipple. 

“Nice,” Dirk said.

“Do it harder,” Roxy said.

Jane squeezed down, shifting her fingers so that she was applying pressure with the tip of her nails. Roxy gasped. 

"I'm feeling a bit neglected here," Jake said. 

"Shouldn't your face be too full of cunt to talk?" Jane asked.

"Why Ms. Crocker I didn't know you knew that word," Dirk said.

"You don't know everything about me," Jane said. 

"Oh fuck guys," Roxy said. "Oh fuck, just shut up you're ruining it."

Dirk was almost next to them now, having inched closer and closer as he took his pictures. Jake shut his eyes as the flash went off right next to his wet face. 

"Jake!" Roxy was panting. "Oh god Jake, just a little more. Don't let up."

Jane's fingers tangled in Jake hair, pushing him down and down until Roxy suddenly cried out, thighs squeezing down around him.

"You ruined the money shot," Dirk said as Roxy relaxed and fell back against the couch, releasing her legs so they fell limp.

"Oh shut up," Jane said. 

“Well, that’s a wrap then,” Dirk said.

“Good,” Roxy said between pants. “It was getting hard to take you seriously with that mustache.”

“What mustache?” Dirk asked. Jane pointed over at the table where their selection of magic markers laid. "Oh _real mature_."

Roxy laughed and swatted Jake away as he tried to kiss her thigh again.

"I thought girls could go more than once," Jake said. 

"Nah, not right now," Roxy said. "Give me a couple."

"Don't be so greedy," Jane said. 

"I'm going to go wash my face," Dirk said. "You girls better not settle this with wrestling until I get back." 

"Can I wrestle Jake?" Roxy asked. "I think he needs a good tumble right now."

"Yes, as leader I give you permission," Jane said.

"Don't let that go to your head, Crocker," Dirk said. 

"Shut up and give me the camera," Jane answered.


End file.
